Crap Hostels - Your worst travel stories...

I was backpacking and it being my first time away from home, I was a little depressed. I soon got sick with what I would later learn would be walking pnemounia (I opted for EasyJet instead of train travel. Damn recycled air!). Deciding I needed to cut the trip short and get home, I beelined for Rome before I left. I had to go to Rome!
I found a cheap hostel near the train station and thought a good rest would be in order. No such luck.
After wandering Rome looking for this "easy to find" hostel, I squeezed through the narrow doors into the Freestyle hostel. I should have known from the name.
As soon as I walked in a dropped my shit, it was lockout time. So I was off in my decrepit state to see a couple churches, get a gelato, and call my mum.
After returning, I went for a nap in the ginormous dorm room on my piss poor bunk. Being a big girl and realizing these bunks are a tad unsteady, I took my stuff off the assigned bunk to a lower one (one of 5 available) to the dismay of who I call the warden. He made a fuss about my moving bunks but I ignored him and dozed off. After waking later to the noise of roommates, we began talking and visiting and swapping travel stories. Though the beds were terrible, the bathroom and shower were sad to say the least, and an anorexic could barely fit in the kitchen, I made some good friends. But we were repeatedly hushed by the warden for talking after 10pm. Apparently, talking and jovial laughter were against the rules. I understand discretion but this was worse than an abbey.